Monday, 5 November 2012

Oliver John William Taylor

I'm a little bit in awe. Actually, I am totally in awe. Maybe it's the residue of pregnancy hormones or just that infectious new born smell, but I am totally in awe of the tiny little human that has entered our lives. Well he really entered our lives 9 months ago when we began our historic journey together as mother and child, but it wasn't until I saw him for the first time at 10.09am on the 25th October 2012, that I really knew that it was true love. And true love it truly is.

After quite a traumatic birth experience with Gracie, we opted for an Elective Cesarean this time, to avoid any complications. And I could not be more pleased with our decision. Whilst I didn't particularly enjoy the Cesarean as it was happening (the thought that I was awake and being cut open really freaked me out), the birth experience and my recovering so far as a whole can not be compared with last time. I feel so much more relaxed and calm about the whole thing. Being a second time mum also helps a bit too I think. Things are definitely not as scary or foreign this time around.

Our first few days together did not, however go as planned. Oliver was born with fluid on his lungs, a condition called Wet Lung. His temperature was low and he wasn't absorbing oxygen as he should have been. After only 10 very short minutes together, little Oliver had to be whisked away and admitted to the nursery for observation and oxygen therapy. His tiny little body was placed in an incubator and warmed up for over two days. It just about broke my heart that once again, I was not able to be with my little new born baby after birth (a similar thing happened after Gracie was born). I sent Jonathan down to the nursery almost every half an hour to take some photos for me. Anything to keep me going, as I couldn't get out of bed yet to see him. It wasn't until late that evening, with help from Jonathan and the nurses, I forced myself, through the pain, to get up. Nothing was going to keep me from being with my precious little boy, even if for just a few moments. He was not allowed to come out of the incubator but I was allowed to put my hands in and touch him. His skin was so soft and warm and he was very calm. It relieved me to see with my own eyes how at peace he was. He stayed there all night, being pumped with oxygen and had a drip inserted to keep him hydrated, as I hadn't been able allowed to feed him yet.

The next day, his levels had begun to improve and I was finally allowed to take him out, hold him for the first time and feed him. This is a moment I will never forget. As soon as I held him, his levels went up almost immediately and he turned his head towards me searching for a feed. It was if he knew that I was his mummy and everything felt suddenly, once again right with the world. He fed like a little champion. I will treasure that moment forever. He spent the rest of the day and that night in the nursery but by the morning of day 3 he was discharged and I was finally allowed to have him back. I must say, only through the grace of God, I felt incredible peace over those few days, that Ollie was in the best place he could be. I missed him terribly but he needed a little extra care and I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have him back and we could begin this new journey together. Jonathan was my rock and kept me reassured that Ollie was fine and being given the best of care. I could not have done it without him.

Gracie has exceeded all my expectations. She has stepped into her role as big sister with such ease and I could not be more proud of her. It's as if she knows now that she isn't the baby any more and I have seen her grow and mature so much in the last two weeks. It makes my heart sing.

So now we're home and doing brilliantly. And as I said, I am totally in awe, that in nine short months, this perfect little boy grew inside me and is now a very important part of our family. I never thought it possible to love another child as much as I love Gracie, but it is true, God has just given me more love to be able to now give two beautiful children. I feel so blessed.

I know, I know, it's all very mushy, but I can't help it. And I won't apologise for it either. I'm going to enjoy this time because it's flying by far too quickly. Oliver has changed so much already. I am so pleased, however, that with the help of my trusty photography assistant, aka Jonathan, I have managed to take some newborn photos of Oliver. They will help me to remember how precious and tiny he is and how quickly he will change. I hope you enjoy them.